White holes in a black shirt (In english).

I hate my life

2009-12-01T06:39:00.000-08:00

One day I said to my self I have to write a post about my wishes that all come true.... I was lazy in that... but now I can say that my wishes become disasters...
love, i was hope to fall in, is a lie
the scholarship i ever dream to get it is a mith
execpt for my baby.. I will always love him whatever he did...
the life at my father's house, that was for me a bad life, is not much different from my life now.. the same pain... and the same waiting to sun to rise...
I started to think that sun will never rise again in my life...it will not

Crash movie

2006-04-25T22:59:00.000-07:00

The movie is great. Montage is wonderful. But I had questions come over my head after I watched it:
Why the best black guy was killed by the best white man "officer Tommy" ?
Why not the other black guy ?
Why Matt Dillon have not to be the killer ?
Why these people met in one day several times in a city as big as Los Anglos!
There a quote in Egypt says:
It goes in the way director wants...
And I think that what is really happened.

beyond

2006-04-20T06:55:00.000-07:00

Do not trust what you see, there is always something beyond (me)

Just words

2006-04-10T02:19:00.000-07:00

Are we a sexual people?

Every time I get access to many sites allowing user interaction, I found that sex is a major problem in our life. Every body asks about it. Wide spread use of Viagra among Egyptians gives a pseudo image that we solve our all problems but sex. Most of people sending their problems complaining of their women
She is not hot!
She is cold!
She never wants me!!!
She never reaches orgasm!!!!
Oh God, first time in my life see men cares about what make their women happy- Ignoring that they only care because their own need-.
Everyday passed in my life I realized that there is a huge misunderstanding between woman and man. Woman doesn’t want you to make her happy for 24 minutes a day but she wants to know that you really care about her 24 hour a day.
Just care...
We want just care....
Do you know how to bring your woman to a feeling better than orgasm?
That is so easy:

-Respect her.

-Never ridicule the way she thinks.

-Do not change TV channel while she is watching.

-Try to share her what she loves.
-If she gets her period: prepare a hot cup of mentha and bring her extra blanket. Wishing her good dreams and never asks her to prepare your dinner. At that time women feel cold, feel nervous and have severe pain described by many text books as sloughing. Many studies said that problems leading to divorce mostly occur during period.

-Whatever your circumstances are, believe or not, your wife is taking bigger responsibilities than you; she cares about home, the kid, the money and her work. She is feeling daily that she doing extraordinary efforts and she really do but you never support her. You never say to her:" I appreciate what are you doing and I feel sorrow for you", you only say:" where my clean shirts is?"
I have an anthem friend and her husband also is my friend, weeks ago I met him and I asked about her and what she did towards over charge of work, home, and their first kid.
"I feel sorry for her she are resisting responsibilities can not done by a human being.. that beyond nature" he said to me, he mean their kid, home, her Master degree, research and her students.
I feel for a while that my friend is lucky to have a husband like him..
He appreciate her!
Days later I call her and we share every thing as usual and I told her about my conversation with her husband. She never believed what he had said she felt happy I never heard her voice dancing since a long time.
That night she said to him:
-"Oh my darling Sesame told me about what you said to her do you really appreciate what I do and feel sorrow for me"
-"I never truly meant what I said it was only words I said to your friend."
He was only making his image brilliant in front of me. I do not want to hear that words. The only one deserve your complements is only your wife.
I know now why my friend never reaches orgasm since she got married.
It is only words...
And words that we need....
To take our heart away.....

Top three in my life

2006-03-08T22:39:00.000-08:00

Best top three are
1- Taking a shower
2- Watching a romantic movie
3- Talking with an educated man
Worst top three are
1- My father
2- My obsession
3- My mother (only for not getting divorced from my father)
Top three dreams are
1- Having a child
2- Falling in love
3- PhD from Cambridge

Rape her again and again and again

2006-03-07T02:17:00.000-08:00

"They told me that your son squealed like a girl when they nailed him to the cross and your wife moan like a harlot when they rape her again and again and again"

said Kommodis

"The time you honoring yourself has come to an end, highness"

Maximus replied.

These words are the best part, in my view, in Gladiator movie. These words always sound in my ears and make my body chilled every time I watch the movie.
The Cesar wanted to make Maximus nervous so that give an excuse to kill him in front of the public.
The man buried the sorrow inside his heart and just believed that there will be an end and he would make it but "not yet"!
Oh god I feel that this sight is repeated every day and every moment:
Our beloved Egypt, They raped you, raped your past, raped your present and raped your future and you still moaning.
But It is not a moaning of joy… It is a moaning of pain and shame but believe my beloved: there will be an end. It will come soon.

You are not married! Are you!

2006-02-17T07:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Sir,
Head of Egyptian American Bank,

My name is ……and I worked in …....... since 2002. Your credit cards representative had come to us and persuaded me and some of my colleges to make credit cards so we buy any thing we want without paying at once.
I gave your representative my ID and all paper he requested for. After a month your representative tell me and all my single colleges that the bank refuse to give us credit cards because we are not Married!
Sir, do you think if I was married I will be in need of your dam credit card?
If you are a married woman you have two options:
Option A: I will let my husband pay for all my shopping.
Option B: I will not buy all these things at all because we must save money for our baby.
You know sir, your representative give a hope: if you only become a senior ….. -----Now I'm junior…---- you could have our credit although of being single girl………..
But at that time I will not be single so I will not be in need of your f' credit card…………….Thanks for saving money of Egyptians.

Kissing the girls

2006-02-15T10:59:00.000-08:00

It was so long ago, since I was 15 years old.. I never used to look at any guy kissing his girl in movies. that was not due to my faith or being a muslim- being a muslim, you should not stare at opposite sex or exciting pictures..
It was because a novel I read. It may by Ihsan Abdel-Kodos, I did not remember exactly...All what I remember was that the guy in the novel divorce his beloved girl because he discovered that she kissed him well...
--Who teaches you to kiss? he asks- He thaught she may be kissed before by someone else-.
--no one I never kiss anyone before. she replies.
Oh God If I looked to movies stars kissing eachother I will be a good kisser so my future beloved husband will leave me.
When In was 22 years old, I thaught that I could have a little look and when get married I could cheat on him-I think the best kisser is Nicolas Cage-
since that day I could not stop staring at a man kisses a woman in TV.
Nowadays I try to stop that not because I will get married but because I try be a good muslim girl.

Defending prophet by guns and "fuck"

2006-02-07T13:18:00.000-08:00

I paid attention to 2 sights when I follow up the reactions of Arabs concerning the cartoons of prophet Mohamed published in Denmark.
First sight:
Tens of armed boys have blocked the building of European Union in occupied Palestine. They threatened Danish people on their land-do you think all Danish drew these cartoons- It was only one of the reactions of millions of Muslims but European newspaper put light upon trying to say: "that is the only way those terrorists behave"
Second sight:
Famous site edited by alaa www.manalaa.net has published 2 emails of his Danish friend http://www.manalaa.net/the_great_dane_and_the_12_cartoons trying to re-understand the cartoons. Unclear protest of alaa made someone called m4m to write down a comment and alaa reply….series of comments and replies have come out but these 2 guys " alaa who never care about the subject as a whole and m4m who is very angry for his prophet " speak in a very low language saying words like "fuck your pitch mother, your red ass ……"
For some while I imagined that I was on one of dirty chat rooms but I realized that what I have read was true :
M4m was angry with alaa so he said "fucking your mother, your wife is ..your…."
Alaa see that this man had a closed mind and again fucked the man's mother.
The surprise was they are talking about prophet Mohamed…
I don’t know how many muslims like m4m. But what surprises me that both people in the two sights don't love their prophet:
----When your prophet orders you not to terrify harmless noninvolved people and not to punish any innocent people for the others mistakes: you don't really love your prophet.
----when your prophet orders you not to use bad words and never never never insult mother or father of someone else: you don't really love your prophet.